I’ve wanted to start this blog for so long now, I don’t know how long it’s been. I’ve been putting it off because I haven’t really known where to begin. I started a different blog back in 2014 (I think it was) about a decade of my life that I needed to make sense of… some have therapy to make sense of things they have been through, some turn to loved ones, family and friends, I turn to writing. Turning my jumbled thoughts into words and sending them out into the world, to me, feels freeing, cathartic, cleansing. And so I’m back, not necessarily for the same reasons as last time, this time to talk about a world that is so often mis-understood, judged negatively… and yet, the fascination surrounding the subject, the people, the lifestyle, speaks volumes despite the negativity it attracts. I will be talking about my own experiences… yep, I have them (*hears her family and friends gasp*) and I’ll be attempting to dissect, discuss, mull over and hopefully dispel a few myths along the way.

This is the blog I’ve wanted to write for ages, but because of judgement, and ‘coming out’, I’ve held back, and sadly, that’s what happens to some of those who are in this lifestyle who need help, support, guidance, and maybe therapy. That fear of being judged is so silencing, and so we go on, never feeling able to fully speak our truth. 

So what finally made me put fingers to keyboard and start writing after all this time of procrastination? Well, I watched a webinar (I’m now a counsellor and always searching for new information, ideas and techniques) and the therapist speaking said something which really resonated. It reminded me of the way I felt when I started my first blog. Back then I knew opening myself up, allowing the world in, meant I had to be prepared to be vulnerable. I wanted to speak my truth, no bullshit, no lies, the raw, unedited version of events from my perspective, any sugar coating or holding back would make it a pointless exercise. And so, I did just that. The therapist I refer to was discussing her book, in which she shared her life and she said ‘the more human you are, people are going to want to hear what you have to say, because they will be more likely to feel a connection to you’, and she’s absolutely right. I’ve been wasting time, working out how I can write this blog without opening myself up, laying myself bare, offering my life up for judgement…

So here I am, ready to talk. So let’s go. 

Let’s talk about sex.